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Paranormal Activity - Do Cremation Ashes Invite Spirits to Stay Around Home?

by Maggie Thompson

    Keeping ashes at home

Losing a loved one is always difficult. Perhaps the most difficult part about loss is that it is different for everyone, so there is no clear set of steps for moving through grief. Cremation is an ancient practice found in cultures around the world with many meanings and rituals attached to it. Besides its spiritual connotations, choosing cremation can allow a grieving family the luxury of time to decide how to proceed with their loved one’s remains.

It is not uncommon for families to be uncertain about where or how to display, bury or scatter the ashes of a loved one. When there is no rush to decide, the approach of simply putting the cremains in a closet “for now” seems like the easiest choice. This indecisiveness springs from understandable emotions or circumstances, such as:

  • A desire for all surviving family members to come to consensus
  • Logistics that delay the opportunity for a formal family gathering to bury or scatter the ashes
  • Personal beliefs that the essence of the loved one is gone, so the ashes have little personal significance
  • A resistance to making further plans coupled with a strong desire to keep the cremains nearby because the survivors are not ready for a more final step

Sometimes the delay stems from being overwhelmed by the fact that there are countless ways to care for cremation ashes. But what happens when months, years or even generations go by, and the ashes remain in the closet?

Learning about how others have dealt with (or avoided dealing with) the disposition of cremains can help lessen the sense of frustration and overwhelming emotions. Find connection in these tales from real people, guidance from spiritual experts on understanding energy and options for creating your own sense of peace through the gift of time that cremation can offer.

A Tale of Two Closets: Feeling Energy Connected to Cremation Ashes at Home

In an unusual example, psychic medium Lisa Guttierez-Haley relates her story on Psychic-Experiences.com. Lisa was contacted by an exasperated family. They had been experiencing strange paranormal activity in their home: images of people walking by, a strong sense of aggression and feelings of bad energy in the house. Lisa reported that a pervasive, overwhelming meanness was coming from an elderly female spirit, dominating an elderly male spirit. This energy was strongest by the closet. When the family opened the door, they found two boxes of ashes on a shelf containing cremains of the wife’s great grandparents. Lisa advised removing the ashes from the house right away. The husband did so and immediately felt that the air had lifted.

However, Lisa could feel more spirits in the house. In another closet, they found two more boxes of cremains, those of the wife’s grandparents, who evoked a gentler presence of love. Lisa deemed it was okay to leave these boxes in the closet because the spirits were not causing negativity for the surviving family.

Basement vs. Altar: Waiting Too Long to Make a Decision

When Gail and Arthur were making repairs in the basement of their family’s beloved summer home, they found an old coffee can tucked away on a back shelf. Expecting to find an assortment of nails, nuts and bolts, they opened it only to realize the contents was cremains sealed in a plastic bag. Running through a mental list of deceased grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, the couple sadly had no idea whose remains they might be.

In another story, this blog’s author came upon a small locked door on the back of the free-standing altar in her church. Behind the door were several containers of cremains. This area was not a columbarium but rather an unofficial holding spot intended to allow families time to decide what they wanted to do with the cremains of loved ones. One box had been there 12 years, another for eight. The most recent had been there two weeks, with plans for burial in the church’s memorial garden the following month. Some cremains had been there such a long time that no one knew who the remaining family members of the deceased were or how to contact them.

These stories illustrate that while cremation offers time to grieve, a decision must be made eventually to honor the memory contained in cremains.

Does Cremation Sever Your Connection to Your Loved One?

This question is a relevant one for anyone considering cremation as an option. Jaime Licauco is a Pilipino expert on mysticism and the paranormal who has been researching, teaching and writing on esoteric knowledge for 35 years. He has written numerous books and articles on our connection with a higher consciousness and responded to questions like this in his article on the Inquirer.net Lifestyles page. Here is what Licauco says: 

When a person dies, their psychic connection with loved ones is not immediately severed. It can remain for a long time. Because of this, their energy can still be felt by the living. In truth, the dead never leave us but are in another dimension of existence. There’s nothing wrong with keeping a loved one’s ashes in the house.

Options for Respectfully Dealing with Cremation Ashes

If you have a loved one’s ashes in a closet, what can be done with them? Here are some options for remaining respectful of both your memories and your family’s diverse needs, especially if family members want to keep the ashes at home.

  • Traditional options: Memorial urns designed for display are an excellent aesthetic option for keeping ashes in the house. They come in a variety of designs made from ceramic, glass, marble, stone, metal and wood. Smaller keepsake urns and jewelry pendant urns that hold a nominal amount of ashes are also satisfying choices for sharing cremains among family members.
  • Scattering solutions: A garden, a forest and a body of water are meaningful places for scattering ashes. Although not always necessary, scattering urns are available to use during a ceremony before releasing the remains into nature. It is perfectly acceptable to keep a portion of ashes separately in a keepsake urn or ash pendant. Simply remove that portion before scattering the rest.

For those interested in less traditional ways of honoring a loved one’s memory, think-outside-the-cremation-urn options abound:

  • Having ashes blown into glass, such as a vase, paperweight or distinctive glass cremation keepsakes, offers a beautiful alternative to a somber urn.
  • Scattering ashes at the edge of space allows both children and adults to feel their loved one always watching over them.
  • Incorporating ash into a diamond gemstone provides a very personal piece of jewelry as a daily reminder of your loved one.
  • Mixing ash with paint for a portrait of the deceased can yield immense comfort.

Cremation offers the benefit of time. There is usually no urgency to decide what to do with the ashes. This allows families time to make plans and to grieve in whatever way suits them. Cremation is an option that offers that space. Keeping ashes in the home can be a comforting and meaningful way to still feel connected to a loved one for many people. The key point to remember is that you decide what feels right for you; there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Maggie Shopen Thompson, MFA, is a freelance writer and writing workshop facilitator in Montpelier, Vermont. She is a contributing author/artist in Healing Art & Writing – using creativity to meet illness, curated and edited by Patricia Fontaine, published in August 2016.

Comments

I picked p my moms ashes today it’s almost been a year this Thursday . I have felt relaxed and peaceful all day . She hated being alone maybe she’s with me in spirit I feel her energy she can now Rest In Peace 💜

Love And Prayers to each one of you. 💜🙏,All of us here have experienced loss of loved ones. God’s sacrifice insures we will all be with them again,in God’s perfect timing. Love And Peace to all,Stay strong in love and memories. Until The Circles Unbroken Forever.

When I brought home my husband’s ashes, I put them on his favorite chair in the den. One of our dogs, a true daddy’s girl, immediately jumped up on the chair and started licking the box containing the ashes. She then settled down and snuggled up to the box and stayed there for several hours. There was an unmistakable look of profound sadness on her face.

My grandma died recently after a year of battling cancer and we cremated her. She was the most important person in my life so I stashed inside a glass vial some of her ashes and carry them around with me all they even at night. Is it super abnormal or do you know how long it will be until I don’t feel like crumbling without them?

My Father passed on May 28,2021
I’m holding his ashes and keep them in the entrance table with flowers and water. I also turn a candle when I pray.
I speak to him and say a prayer.
I have started seeing my light bowls go on a d off lately.
My husband told me he saw a shadow go from one room to another. I’m not scared because I feel peaceful and calm. I still miss him and help to cry. It is the hardest thing to accept he is not here anymore.

I have been reading your comments and they àre spot on , I have my wife’s cremains in a wooden casket in my sideboard and I live with my special needs daughter, one day I was chastising her in her bedroom and then went in kitchen in to wash dishes and my wife knocked on the wall next to me and I felt calm and unsurprised and just said I know I will have a quiet word with her in a minute. I feel her presence all the time and when I’m on my own I talk to her it’s really comforting but I’m having her ashes buried in a family grave on July 17, I just wonder if she will still be with me in spirit

My kitten that we just got last week have been sleeping,and sitting by a clock that has a loved ones ashes in it. What does that mean?

I had two cherished pets, a Jack Russell named Dixie and a younger Westhighland Terrier named Viktor. They were great buddies and they always stayed close to each other and us. When Dixie passed away at about 14 years of age I had her cremated. Not only were we sad and heartbroken to lose her, but Viktor was also noticeably sad and even depressed for several weeks and months. He kept going from room to room, looking out the windows and wondering the backyard, often he just sat and stared out the glass doors to the backyard, or he’d poke his head out the pet door looking for her. I kept Dixie on the mantel next to a photograph of her. When Viktor passed away at about age 15, I took him and Dixie’s ashes and buried them together on the morning sunshine of a Tennessee hill. I dream that they run and bark together in whatever place they dwell in God’s Kingdom.

Kathleen…My mom passed recently as my father and I keep her ashes in the house, next to grandkids pictures. I imagine others feel removing ashes will help you move on. It is my opinion that it is not up to them to decide as it is your choice what you do with your sons ashes. I will keep my mothers and when my father passes, I will take them both to Tennessee with me to rest within nature as they both wanted to be together. I believe we owe it to the ones we love to give them peace in the afterlife and keep the love they passed on to move on but never forget. Best of luck, apologies for your loss.

My son died when he was 34 years old, which was about 6 years ago. I have held on to his ashes since then. I have informed my family that when I die I want them to scatter his ashes with mine at the same time.

Hi! My name is Andrea Hoffman, my husband recently passed away as of 2 days before Thanksgiving of last year. He was already an old man when we got married. So, we had a 2 and half year marriage. Anyway, my way of grieving is by talking to his ashes. He’s been creamated. He died of congested ❤ and ❤ failure. Prior to his death ….my husband had open heart surgery back in February of last year. Maybe his heart did not heal properly.

My brother died many years back and we have had it in his ashes sitting on a shelf in the living room and very recently unexplained things have started happening loud noises at night like something fell off the shelf and seeing things like shapes that go away instantly and I cannot figure out why

When a person dies their spirit goes to one of two places , Heaven or hell. There are spirits called “familiar spirits” they can come in voices like a loved one & when they continually harass you it’s most likely a demon & needs dealt with ASAP.

Trina I am so sorry your story mad me so sad and at the same time understand that I am not the only one that is feeling all of those things. My husband hung himself out back in the woods of my house my daughter and I were at the house at the time. It is a horrible feeling all around.

My grandfather who helped to raise me died in ‘87. One night I had fallen asleep on the floor watching a movie I woke up got up and into the kitchen and made a bowl of cereal looked at the clock and it said 12:30 I remembered that I just had a dream that my grandfather had come to me and reached his hand out while I was laying on the floor and said come on come with me. In the dream we walked and he talked to me I don’t remember what the conversation was about. But I remember that we came to a beautiful gate and he let go of my hand and open the gate and with the other hand he pointed his finger at me and said don’t you forget this dream. It was that moment that I woke up and got up and walked into the kitchen looked at the clock and made my bowl of cereal. Are it and went to my bed. The next morning I heard someone pulling into my driveway. So I got up and opened the door, and was by the sheriff. They came to tell me that my grandfather had passed away. I asked if they knew what time he had died. He looked at his paperwork and said , 12:15 a.m. the hair all over my body stood on end I feel he came to show me the gates to heaven. What an honor.

My husband died shortly from battling cancer…too fast, too soon. He and I had discussed about cremation for us; and keeping his urn with me in my bedroom. I do a little more—I put his favorite hat and the urn and the boots under the stand on which the urn is placed. I also put the ashes of his/our beloved cat by the urn. I am with them every night.

I don’t agree about my husbands’ keeping half of her mother’s ashes, well not even full of it and have them kept at our home. I don’t want for the memory of her mother, to end up being an ornamenta and have to lift her urn up in the air in order to dust around the coffee table, where my husband decided to place her. We have a son whose a minor and I’m concerned about his well being and mental stability, please help and share a wise advice.

I lost my soulmate and love of my life just 6 months ago and I’m still in shock…was so very unexpected. He was only 66…knew him for 50yrs. I have some of his ashes in my home and I feel that’s where they belong. I see him and speak to him all the time. He is always by my side. True love Never dies…miss him so much though. Tough times…prayer helps me get through each day and knowing that God will strengthen me gives me hope. Rest in peace my sweet love…xoxo

I lost love of my life after 43 years together through thick and thin . I was only 17 and fall in love this handsome macho 24 years old man . Best man on earth . I am so lost without hm our two sons are very supportive. I brought his earns home and We have them in beautiful corner chair under his life size picture . I always keep small light on it all the time and on going prayers 24×7 . I am going to keep it with me till I die and told my sons to put my ashes with my husband and put it together in running water . Till then I am keeping the remains with me and I talk to him every morning and evening and when I go out of the house I tell him where I am going and when I come back from work I tell him about my day . Many time I feel him around me and hear my name the way called me “Jassu” and it’s so real . Our sons feel the same his love and protection I am going to keep him close to my heart as always but not in the closet . This is his home too so why in the closet . Decent part of the house where he will feels like a king . He lost his life to Covid 19 he was 66years and I am 60 now .

I lost my husband about 6 wks ago he choked on steak and I tried to save him,I have a necklace with ashes in it actually two necklaces with his ashes in them, I also gave close family members that necklace with him in it and I’ll moves on my neck and that’s upside down wraps around my throat and it hurts a lot and I want to know what I could do about this it also follows me to the grocery store and in the car when I wear the necklace,he did die 2 times at the house and once at his arrival at the hospital he unfortunately died 10 days later of brain damage sincerely….im terrified at this point and he also slames doors. Christa Wagner

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